There was a time when my day started before the sun.
I woke up at 5 a.m. not to chase some big dream. I was just trying to survive. I taught computer classes at a small institute. Morning batches. Then I ran to my own college classes. Then I came back again in the evening to teach more students.
By 7 p.m. I was technically free.
But I never went home.
I stayed inside that computer lab.
I did not own a computer. Cyber cafes were expensive. That lab was the only place where I could sit quietly and use the internet, learn about code and design, and plan to do something bigger than my daily life.
The internet was slow. Dial-up slow. One page would take forever to load. Sometimes I stared at the screen more than I actually learned. But I stayed. Because even that slow connection felt like hope.
So I sat there. Clicking random things. Breaking stuff. Googling. Watching tutorials at low volume. Learning things nobody told me to learn.
Wanting More Than Marks
In college people felt proud after writing a simple loop in C. Printing prime numbers. They thought they had made it.
I did not feel that way.
I did not want to feel smart.
I wanted to build something real. Something that existed outside exam papers.
When Reality Arrived
Then college ended.
And reality hit hard.
No job. No plan. No clear direction.
So I did what people do when they feel small and lost. I copied the crowd. I joined a Master’s program because everyone else was doing something and I was tired of feeling stuck. I was not chasing growth. I was running from emptiness.
I ran behind offices for documents. Fought for an education loan. Moved to another city. Finished the degree.
Still no job.
That phase broke me in quiet ways. It killed the idea that effort always pays fast. That education automatically saves you. That life follows clean timelines.
Those days were not beautiful. They were heavy. Lonely. Stressful.
I do not miss them.
What Those Days Gave Me
But I respect them.
Because in that dark lab I was not only learning code.
I was learning how to sit alone with my thoughts. How to work without praise. How to keep going when nobody cares yet.
If You Are Here Right Now
We all look for signs. Some proof that we are on the right path. A mentor. A guarantee. A small win to hold onto.
Sometimes the only sign is this. You are still here.
If you are working and nothing seems to move, stay. The confusion is not useless. The repetition is not stupid. Something is quietly forming inside you even if you cannot see it yet.
You do not need a perfect vision right now.
You just need to not quit.
Everyone sees the sunrise.
But only the people who stayed awake through the night understand what that light really means.
And maybe right now you are not lost.
Maybe you are just being built.
